Somebody else always has it worse

“I’ll manage”, you may think.

In the middle of a pandemic, with all the restrictions on normal life, in a stressful job – or no job at all, in difficult relationships. There’s always someone who has it worse, right? Someone who really needs help.

So you just kind of withdraw and see how it goes. Wait until things get better. Maybe in a few weeks, or maybe by summer?

Are you putting yourself down?

Constantly waiting for better circumstances and telling yourself you’ll manage makes you ignore your own needs. Maybe you feel like everyone else’s needs are more important, so you do everything you can to make things easier for them – at your own expense. As if your own well-being would be taken away from someone else?

You might also compare your own worth to that of others’. Like you don’t deserve help, because someone else needs it more. That it would be unfair to complain, because others have a harder time.

Your needs matter

Everyone has their own struggles, and everybody’s needs are important. A lot of the problems in our society come down to how people’s worth is valued in how productive they are, or in terms of money. The needs we have as human beings are brushed aside. But we can build a more compassionate, more humane society by learning to face ourselves more compassionately, and paying attention to our own needs.

If you care about other people’s needs, it’s also worth remembering that it’s much easier to offer support to others if your own needs are met and you’re feeling good.

So pause for a moment, take a deep breath.

In.

And out.

Ask yourself what you need. Is there something that you’ve denied yourself, something that you could allow? What could you do today, so that you would feel better and less burdened?

If you need help…

Part of my coaching includes helping my clients to be more compassionate towards themselves and recognize their own needs. If you feel like you need support with taking your needs seriously, you’re warmly welcome to a free introductory call with me where we can assess your current situation and see how I could help you.

After the call, if it feels like a fit and you want to continue working with me, you can continue to personal coaching – I have a couple of free spots for this spring. Drop me a message at anni@savelkulku.fi to book a call!

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