Do you often opt out of doing things because you’re afraid of failing? Not try something out because you feel you can’t or don’t know how? If fear of failure is stopping you from living your life, it’s likely you’re missing out on a lot of experiences.
You might have feelings of shame or insecurity around your abilities or competence, and it can be difficult to even notice how restrictive those feelings are. But it’s possible to turn the difficult emotions to find joy, playfulness and willingness to experiment.
Trapped in a box made of beliefs
As a kid, when I was learning the piano, I was quick to understand sheet music and a fast learner. My technical skills and my ability to read music developed fast, but before long my musical expression started to become restricted.
Improvisation or producing any sort of music on my own – including playing by ear or using chords for accompaniment – felt awfully hard. If I couldn’t rely on the clarity and safety of someone else’s sheet music, I was afraid to even try. So strongly did I believe that I can’t play anything that isn’t printed on a page.
Music can set you free
Only when I learned about music therapy, I realized that the point doesn’t have to be about doing it right, but the joy of doing. I started finding playfulness and freedom in my playing again.
And when I dared to venture outside the boundaries of written down music, I also started to feel more trust towards life in general, even when everything doesn’t go quite as planned. Making mistakes isn’t really hugely dangerous – not only in music, but in life as a whole.
These days this is one of the cornerstones of my work: Helping my clients explore their difficult emotions around self-criticism and fear of failure, and face them with curiosity.
How does it feel to freely try new things? How does it feel not having to be right or in control? To not know what you’re doing? To throw yourself into play?
Eventually, the things you do and learn when working with me in a musical context, change you in subtle ways. You start to notice the moments where your first reaction is to give up, and find an opportunity to take another approach. Even if fear of failure is whispering in your ear that you just can’t, how about trying anyway?
Are you looking for more self confidence?
If you need more self confidence around expressing yourself and living your life without fear of being judged, I invite you to meet me for a free assessment to see if working with me longer term would be a good match. Drop me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org if you’re interested!