You’re enough – and how misleading it can be to hear that

They say that you’re enough. Coaches, therapists, spiritual advisors. That’s what I say too: You’re more than enough, be compassionate towards yourself. 

But what if it doesn’t ring true?

If you have to hustle to finish everything by the end of the year, need to tackle your work or school, handle housework and prepare for seasonal celebrations, and the only thing you can manage without forcing yourself is lying on the coach scrolling through social media. How can that be enough?

Lapsi kaivaa hiekkaan kuoppaa käsin

No point in dwelling in the past… or is there?

Sometimes people say that there’s no point in dwelling in the past. That it’s better to move on and leave the past behind.

There’s some truth in that, but I’d say it’s not the whole story. It’s true that constantly worrying about the past doesn’t help, if you’re only dwelling on it without true connection to your emotions and experience.

On the other hand, not all things can just be left behind without facing and processing them.

Ihminen pitelee päätään kumarassa, hiukset kasvoilla

Let yourself feel all your emotions – dream on?

I recently wrote in social media that you should let yourself feel all your emotions. What if those emotions are intolerable? When you’re full of unbearable anxiety, and people around you can’t deal with all the emotions that you’re bursting with. Then someone tells you to just feel all the emotions. What a stupid advice!…
Don't hide the difficult emotions

How to express difficult emotions

Recently I was surprised when I was venting my emotions in a Facebook group. I was feeling overwhelmed and frankly I was resisting and avoiding everything constructive and helpful.

Sounds quite tiresome, doesn’t it?

Isn’t it true that difficult emotions need to be hidden from view and you shouldn’t trouble others with them, people don’t want to deal with your baggage? Many have learned as children that when you’re happy you’ll be accepted – nobody wants to hear about you anger, fear and disappointment.

What will other people think

What will people think?

Has it happened to you that you’ve spend a fun night out and felt free to be yourself, but the next day you start thinking more carefully about what you did and said. The ever-present worry starts raising its head: What did people think?

It’s easy to spend days worrying about it. Even if nobody says anything or acts any differently around you afterwards, you might still blame yourself for showing your true self to other so freely. What if it backfires?